im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
