She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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