Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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