Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize