your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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