dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize