there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
