thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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