Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
