I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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