If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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