I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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