____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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