Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
