just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
