Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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