Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
