my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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