Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
