Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
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she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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