i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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