She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
