I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
