Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
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Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
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If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.