we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
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Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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