my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"