you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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