apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
