i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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