Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
