If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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