escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
