Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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