You made me cry and you don't even care
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
do nipples grow back?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
