do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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