It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't think brook has ever known best
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
