no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
