But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
