I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
