Sry I called you an 8
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
