fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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