He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
