So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
