but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize