I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
