I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
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I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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