would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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