my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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