honey bunches of taint.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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