Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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