Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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