I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
