Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize