hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just threw up on my dentist
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
so much tequila, so little girl.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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