Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
