so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ketchup is God's man juice
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
