why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
