I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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