Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
