he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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