69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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