How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
