I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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